I Finally Got My Philippine Passport

YES, you read that right. I am 23 years old and still haven’t got my passport until recently. The thing is, I actually tried to get it for 2 times already- it’s embarrassing! But oh well, let me tell you anyway..



First try, I was still in high school. I went online and fill up the application form and checked the requirements I need to bring. My supposed appointment was still in 3 months! It was a very long wait. On the day of my appointment, I went to DFA Alimall Satellite Office, then the security guards checked my documents and went inside to verify my appointment. When they got back, they told me that I don’t have an appointment, I was confused.. I told them that my appointment was that day and they said I am right; it was supposed to be on that day but I missed to confirm my appointment via email and I am supposed to confirm it within 24 hrs from the moment I set up an appointment for my passport!

I was so disappointed that day. It was clearly my fault for missing that detail. I wasn’t a tech savvy that time and I never really check or know how to check emails when I was still in high school. But that’s what happened. It was a total waste of time, but I thought I learned my lesson.

Second try, it was thru DFA’s program named Passport on Wheels. I used to work every Sunday for this church in a subdivision near where I live and the employees were kind enough to offer me to register because it was actually exclusive for the residents that lives in the subdivision. They asked me to submit my requirements and told me to monitor my email for the payment, but what happened was I forgot about it. And only checked my email when the employees there asked me why I didn’t show up.. Only then I checked my email and viola!! I received an email 3 days after I submitted my requirements. I felt so embarrassed that time.

Because of my 2 previous attempts, I stopped, and I tried to avoid thinking about trying again because I get so anxious about the idea, that time it seemed like getting a passport is not for me.

And then I tried again after years of avoiding it.

I tried for 3rd time because as you all know I am in a long distance relationship and passport is necessary for us.

For context: Long Distance Relationship: Meeting My Boyfriend For The First Time!

This happened last December 2020 and the earliest slots open that time will be on March 2021, but I still took it.

On the last week before my appointment date, I checked my requirements again to make sure I got everything right, but then I realized that the birth certificate I have with me is the old version which they don’t accept anymore. This really triggered my panic attack and I stared feeling dizzy, I messed up again.

But I tried to calm myself and thought how I can fix it. My mom told me that it’s very easy to get a birth certificate, you just need to go to the government agency in-charge of it, in our country it’s called Philippine Statistics Authority or PSA.

I went there the next day and everything went well and I was able to get what I needed the same day. But my anxiety got the best of me because before I went there, I already ordered my birth certificate online the night before thru the same agency’s delivery service. I was that anxious. Funny enough, I received it the day before my appointment so now I have 2 copies of my birth certificate with me!

On the day of my appointment, I came 2 hrs early because I was so scared to miss my appointment. I got there and stopped by at 7/11 Convenience Store to get something to drink. Then I went back to the satellite office, I waited in line for atleast an hr and after that everything went smoothly. I was overprepared and brought documents that I didn’t have to bring or they didn’t ask but that’s better than not being prepared at all, right?

I was told that my passport will get released after 2 weeks. But then Enhanced Community Quarantine happened!

You see, my appointment was on Friday, then the week after that our government announced ECQ. How lucky am I?! I am so thankful that it happened after my appointment because if not then I’ll have to wait and that will only make my anxiety worse.

Anyway, after 2 weeks ECQ was changed to MECQ and the satellite agency resumed their operation.

I was so excited the moment they handed me my passport! It felt surreal. After all the delays and unfortunate events here I am. I am now a Philippine passport holder!

Hopefully, I will be able to use this soon.

Cheers!

Hi! This is Carla! If you got this far, thank you! I would love to read your thoughts about my post. Feel free to share this to someone who might need it. Keep yourself updated on anything related to my blog by signing up below.

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Sunday Journal: What Keeps Me Sane ♡

Hi there!

How are you?

(I am writing using my phone right now through the app.)

I thought I’d write a short blog on what’s been going on with my life, nothing interesting or serious, I just want to share it with you!

Our city is currently on ECQ (Enhanced Community Quarantine), it’s supposed to last a week but it got extended, I am not surprised given how our government is handling this whole pandemic that resulted in rising cases. It sucks!

I am binge watching South Park to distract myself. I never thought I will like this show, I remember I tried to watch it when I was a kid but didn’t like it as I understand nothing from what they were talking about. Turns out it’s not made for kids! LOL.

So far I really like the characters especially Cartman, I think he’s funny!

Oh, also I am reading a book. My friend gave this to me when we met last year. She gave me lots of books and I am looking forward to reading all of them.

Have you read this book before? Let me know what you think of it without spoilers!

Earlier, I was trying to organise my notes on my phone. If I haven’t told you guys yet, I am very picky when it comes to organising. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not perfectionist but I’m very particular about how I organise my notes.

I am currently using Google Keep and I wanted to use a different app with more features. I spent hours looking for an app that meets all my needs, but in the end I didn’t find any and keep using Google Keep. Haha! Oh well…

Lastly, if you saw my last Story Post, it was photos of donuts that I made the other day. I was really craving for donuts, but I am too scared to go out and delivery is too much hassle right now because of ECQ. Our community doesn’t let outsiders come inside but if we really want, we can meet them at the entrance, but that’s too far from our house.

Anyway! I am still craving for donuts! I am not satisfied! I love Butternut flavour from Dunkin Donuts. I wish I can buy one ASAP. Haha!

Okay, enough for now. I will go to sleep.

Stay safe guys, I know it’s hard these days but we can do this! ♡

Hi! This is Carla! If you got this far, thank you! I would love to read your thoughts about my post. Feel free to share this to someone who might need it. Keep yourself updated on anything related to my blog by signing up below.

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Kids or No Kids?

Recently, I’ve been thinking about having kids or what it feels like to start a family.

I mean, I’ve thought of it before but thought more of it recently.. I already have names picked for both genders, actually.

It makes my heart warm whenever I see cute babies, especially when they do adorable stupid things. I am also curious to know what a mini me looks like. To raise someone and watch them grow. Motherhood excites me because of that.

But are those really the right reasons to have a kid?

This question stuck in my head for a while that it made me think, what if I decide to not have a kid?

What will it be like?

I read stories about child-free life, stories of people who choose not to have kids and are still very much happy with their decision. I realized that being a mother is a choice, not a goal nor everyone’s dream as a woman.

I began to think about what my life would be like if I choose to not have a kid, the money that we could save and the struggles that I will not experience.

But those are not just the reasons I think about not having a kid.

Because just by seeing the state of our world is right now, the constant chaos everywhere.. It makes me think if it’s still right to bring a child into this world, are they going to be happy with our decision to bring them here?

What’s going to happen after 10 years? 20 years? 50 years? Is it going to be better or worse? What’s the quality of our life is going to be?

And with myself? Am I going to be physically, mentally and financially ready?

There’s a lot of things that needs to be considered before you make a decision, and in my opinion, these are some valid points that we should consider before having a child.

No child deserves to live in such an unhealthy life, they didn’t asked to be born in the first place.

Being child-free is not really something we often talk about, especially in my culture… So, I am sure that many people will judge me if I choose to lead that life.

 

Anyway, do you have any thoughts about this topic? I would love to read your opinion, but for now I am still not sure what I want.

Hi! This is Carla! If you got this far, thank you! I would love to read your thoughts about my post. Feel free to share this to someone who might need it. Keep yourself updated on anything related to my blog by signing up below.

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Learning A New Language

I started learning Dutch more than a year ago but recently I decided to take it seriously as I wanted to have a knowledge of the language once I move to the country where my boyfriend lives.

It’s fun to learn new language especially whenever I listen to some Dutch kids’ songs, It made me feel like I am in preschool again and that kinda feels funny and awkward, so I listen to using my headphones whenever I am not alone at home. Haha!

I also talked to some people who are studying the same language and we exchange some learning materials.

There’s this girl who I met through Reddit that is also in a long distance relationship with someone who lives in The Netherlands. That time when we started she is already in the process of getting a work visa, I think? I am not sure what visa specifically, but she told me she’s applying to be an Au pair in The Netherlands so she can also see her boyfriend. She hasn’t met this guy yet because their relationship started during the pandemic.

And I can feel she wants to do it, and she’s willing to go through the long stressful process to be with her partner even though she haven’t met this guy yet. She talked to me a lot about her boyfriend, that she’s never been this happy as she was in abusive relationship prior that.

The dedication she has with learning Dutch and really going through the process of getting a visa. It made me realize how love can make us do all of this. Imagine her life turned in a whole different direction after she met this guy?! I can totally relate with that one! LOL.

Anyway, if anyone here is currently learning Dutch or is Dutch, please give me some advice about learning the language.. Thank you in advance!

Okay okay..

I will go to sleep now, I’ll write again next time..

Tot ziens! ❤️

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Hello there.

I apologize for my absence.

I have tried to be as productive as I can be, to write something about my life and daily shenanigans, but I became so unmotivated these past few months. Stress on my personal and professional life took a toll on my mental health, and it was very difficult to get past that. I’ve tried my best to be better and I’m getting there.

I am not sure if things is actually getting better to be honest, this is still regarding on what’s currently happening more specifically in our country. I have a lot to say about that but I will reserve my thoughts as I don’t want to be political.

To end this, I only hope that we see the light at the end of this dark gloomy tunnel soon.

Ah.. I’ve missed writing so much but bye for now..

Hi! This is Carla! If you got this far, thank you! I would love to read your thoughts about my post. Feel free to share this to someone who might need it. Keep yourself updated on anything related to my blog by signing up below.

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Welcome 2021. ♥️

I apologize for not posting the previous weeks; I got transferred to night shift because of my new role at work and I had to adjust my body clock for that.

Anyway, Happy new year!

Photo by Anna Tarazevich on Pexels.com

This year a lot of things happened to my life- good and bad that shaped me the way I am today, I can say that I am stronger mentally compare to what I was before. I had so many realizations in life, met some people along the way that taught me some valuable lessons. I can’t say that I am on my best self, but I am definitely in a better state mentally and physically. I still have things I need to improve on myself.

Photo by Madison Inouye on Pexels.com

I am so thankful that I found this community, you guys also made me realize that there are still people on the internet that promote positivity, self love and toxic-free platform. Thank you. I am very hopeful that this new year will be a better year for all of us. I will continue growing.

I wish you all the best and I will talk to you on my next post!

Bye.. 🙂

Hi! This is Carla! If you got this far, thank you! I would love to read your thoughts about my post. Feel free to share this to someone who might need it. Keep yourself updated on anything related to my blog by signing up below.

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Life Update: Work Situation, Health Concern & Starting My YouTube Channel

Hi everyone!

How are you all? It’s so nice to be writing again, I know that I’ve promise to post more often and I try but the past few weeks became an emotional roller coaster to me.

I’ve mentioned on my previous post what happened at work. After that news broke out, our hunt for a new job within the company begun. It wasn’t easy even though they assured us we will get a job and there’s no way any employees will get terminated, but the thing is they still want us to go through the normal process like interviews because they want both sides (department heads and employees) to still get to decide what job they want and who they want for the job.

They put it in a way that they want us to feel we worked for this new role and we deserve it and not we’re here because we didn’t have a choice or they don’t know where else to place us. On which they have a point, to be honest.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

I think I’ve applied to more or less than 10 job postings within our company, got interviewed almost every day and to be honest it’s exhausting. It’s so draining, you feel so anxious all the time because your mind is always thinking about the interview that will happen later that day.

During that time I have developed skin rashes, which I initially thought was skin allergy; I consulted my dermatologist about it and she informed me that the rashes is because of my stress.

She prescribed me some steroid cream to get rid of the rash but she told me it will keep on appearing if I don’t control my emotions, I basically should stop stressing myself and it’s up to me to decide if I want to get better or not. After my visit, all I did was to be more cautious and mindful of what I feed to my mind and my body. I mediated a lot, did breathing exercises more often.

Photo by Elly Fairytale on Pexels.com

As mentioned before, I try my best to see our current work situation as something positive, as an oppurtunity to grow and it’s so rare for a company to keep their employees with what’s happening right now.

After waiting what feels like forever, I landed on a new job role on which I will start on Monday. I am so excited and happy because this is something I didn’t expect; I didn’t expect to get accepted in this position, but I am so grateful that I did.

But this is it for now, I will write my entire job hunting experience until how I landed this job role on my next post.

Oh! By the way, I just started my YouTube channel. Yes, I know what you’re thinking, another vlogger.. *rolling eyes*

Photo by freestocks.org on Pexels.com

LOL.

Not that I have anything against them, but you know what I mean, right?

I’ve been planning to do this since last year because I really want to learn how to film and use my channel to save memories or experiences that I want to treasure forever. I’ve said so many times before how I dislike social media, but I see YouTube as a tool to discover/develop skills in filming or videography.

The YouTube channels that inspired me to start my channel are  李子柒 Liziqi and Her 86m2. I love how simple and peaceful their videos are, how they talk about life. Most of their videos show a lot about living close to nature, which I really love.

Anyway, I posted my first ever video a few days ago, If you don’t mind, please give my channel a visit. Feel free to subscribe and give some feedback on how I can improve my skill, it will be a great help.. really!

Click here to check out my YouTube channel and here’s the link for the first video I posted

Thank you! Bye for now. 🙂

Hi! This is Carla! If you got this far, thank you! I would love to read your thoughts about my post. Feel free to share this to someone who might need it. Keep yourself updated on anything related to my blog by signing up below.

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Life Update: Where I’ve Been?

Hi. Hello!

It has been a month since my last post. Nothing significant happened, but I still have few updates, regardless.

I started working at the office three weeks ago and I would say that it’s such a relief not to worry about any connectivity issues anymore. I am enjoying it so far. I am grateful my company does all necessary health precautions to make sure we are safe.

The situation right now is taking a toll with my mental health but I try to remain strong, fining ways to distract myself from those kinds of thoughts but sometimes you just can’t help but question everything, you see a lot people ignoring the safety measures that is being implemented by the government and you just think how can a person this stupid? I am sorry for the word. In our neighborhood, I hear my neighbors talk about how they’re scared for not wearing masks because they might get fined if the authorities see them not wearing one but for me shouldn’t the first reason they should feel scared is getting sick? To get fined is just the second reason. I feel so frustrated whenever I think about it.

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

The past few months I spent on this blog was delightful, but I must admit that sometimes I feel pressured to write. Trying to keep up with everyone else while also trying to convince myself that this isn’t competition. I am supposed to post a new blog after my last post but it didn’t feel right; It doesn’t feel right to publish any of my writing for the sake of keeping up with everyone, regardless of the quality of my writing. I knew I need a break to just pick myself together and reassess everything.

I am in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend, which is already difficult. But being in LDR during the pandemic is the worst. There is still no assurance when we will see each other again. Seeing how our countries are handling the pandemic makes me lose my hope. All I do is scroll down on my Airbnb app and plan things that we can do once our border opens again, it sucks.

Photo by Brett Sayles on Pexels.com

We spent his birthday last month away from each other, it’s hard. I feel so emotional while writing this and thinking about that day. I made a cake for his birthday and I kinda felt silly because it’s not like he can eat the cake, but with the cake it made me feel that he is real, that he exists. Once, I told my boyfriend how I am forgetting what it’s like to be with him, and it pains me. We don’t video/voice call that much, but after that we both decided we should do it more often.

I constantly tell him that despite how this pandemic affected our plans, I feel like it strengthened our relationship; it made me stronger. That’s the silver-lining, I guess.

I try to avoid being dramatic because I don’t think people likes to read that so I apologize in advance.

Anyway, I am back and I am excited to write more about my experiences and hobbies. I’ve missed this community so much. How are guys? I want to know! 🙂

Hi! This is Carla! If you got this far, thank you! I would love to read your thoughts about my post. Feel free to share this to someone who might need it. Keep yourself updated on anything related to my blog by signing up below.

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Overcoming Stressful Times

I lost my memory for two days.

This happened few weeks ago, I realised it when my Mom asked me what time are we going to my sister’s place because it’s Friday and we always spend our weekends at my sister’s place. I thought my Mom was just joking around that time and I got a bit annoyed because it was early in the morning and I have work; It’s not the best time to make a joke. But then she told me she’s serious, and I had to look on my phone calendar to confirm, and yes, it is Friday. And I can’t believe it.

How come it’s Friday already? In my mind, it’s only Wednesday. I can’t remember what happened on the previous days.

It shocked me. How is that possible? I remember going to sleep the night before and thinking oh it’s going to be Wednesday tomorrow. It was so strange because I remember what I did on Monday that week then Tuesday which was actually Thursday. So, what happened on Tuesday and Wednesday?

The entire experience was so bizarre to me, I didn’t think it’s possible. For me, it was something that only happens in movies, I thought I knew what is happening but here I am.

I did some research to know why it happened, what was that experience all about.. then I found this:

Stress is a potent modulator of brain structure, brain function, and cognition. Although not all types of stress are deleterious to memory function, there are many instances in which stress (both acute and chronic) interferes with explicit types of memory, both in humans and animals (Figure 12.7). Stress hormones are also strong modulators of brain development, and excessive stress experienced at certain time windows of vulnerability during life can profoundly affect cognitive function at later stages, with a particular impact on cognitive aging.

In fact, exposure to chronic stress seems to recapitulate cognitive deficits observed at aging, as well as accelerating the decline in memory function that characterizes senescence.

Sandi C. Memory Impairments Associated with Stress and Aging. In: Bermúdez-Rattoni F, editor. Neural Plasticity and Memory: From Genes to Brain Imaging. Boca Raton (FL): CRC Press/Taylor & Francis; 2007. Chapter 12. Available from: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK3914/

Stress. It was the stress that caused this. The article explained that stress can cause memory loss and if not reduce it is possible worsen as we age.

I wasn’t in my best state when it happened.. A lot of things have been going on with my personal life that I might share in my future posts. And all I did was to worry about it. From the moment I wake up and before I go to bed, I kept on thinking and stressing about so many things.

I try my very best to not get affected by what’s happening around me, the things I don’t have control but sometimes it gets you. I’ve written blogs related to mental health but I’m not perfect, I have my moments too but I try to learn from that to become a better person.

Since that day, I am cautious about everything. Starting on what is the current time and date, what day already, and where I left my things. I started practicing on how to organise my thoughts so it won’t get confusing for me; I assigned places where I should only put my stuff. Working or just simply doing a task, I try not to have so many thoughts to help me focus.

One thing that helps me is journaling. I mentioned this on my previous post— about how it helps me to just write down my thoughts.

Related post: Life Update: Dyeing My Hair, Hamster Adoption and so on.. (Hi! Hello!)

I found an idea on Pinterest, it’s like a daily check up for your physical and emotional state. The idea is quite interesting and I find it useful as it gives me an overview of my overall health (not official diagnosis ofc!). It was surprising for me to see the state of my health, it’s so different when you see it written on a piece of paper than just letting the day go by and hope that tomorrow will be a better day.

Journaling Idea (not my photo)

Yesterday I was talking to my friend on WhatsApp, just catching up and checking each other. Then we went on talking about how it’s already -Ber months, which is quite a big deal in our country because that means Christmas Season has already started. Then I admitted to her that I’m not excited at all. I mean, to be honest.. I stopped feeling excited about Christmas when I started adulthood, but this year is so much different.

Before, we have memories on what we did for the previous month.

“Last May, we went to this beach. And had fun watching the sunset.”

“June, we started our classes and it was a rainy month.”

“August, almost Ber! Time to do Christmas shopping!”

But now. It feels like we’re stuck in March. I don’t have memories of what I did from the previous months, and it made me sad.

A lot of awful things is happening in the world right now, which what makes everything so hard for me. Its difficult to stay positive when there are disasters after disasters.

There was a Reddit post, the user talked about how he loves this year because of how unpredictable and interesting it is.. It’s so different from his boring/repetitive routine before.

The post made me feel safe in weird way.

Human’s ability to withstand difficulties in life and see the good in every situation even if it’s the most unfortunate one is fascinating. This kind of mindset gives me hope that we will be okay. That there will be an end for all of this.

We will survive this pandemic.

(featured photo taken by my boyfriend ♥ )

Hi! This is Carla! If you got this far, thank you! I would love to read your thoughts about my post. Feel free to share this to someone who might need it. Keep yourself updated on anything related to my blog by signing up below.

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Life Update: Dyeing My Hair, Hamster Adoption and so on.. (Hi! Hello!)


Hi, guys! How are you?

This post will not be the usual post, I wrote this to give an update about my life and what’s keeping me busy the past few weeks. I also want this to become like a little chat with you guys.

Okay! Let me begin..

I started journaling a few weeks ago, hellocitygirl’s post inspired me to do it. I’ve been struggling with my mental health especially now we’re still in quarantine and work is also stressing me out, that’s also why.

So far, I find it helpful. Writing helps me translate my feelings into words— a way that I can understand it better; I read somewhere that it’s healthy to do that so your brain knows what you feel and they can lay those thoughts on where they should be, then it’ll be easier to deal with them. I hope this will continue and I won’t get lazy writing lol.

Next update, I dyed my hair blue green!

I dyed my hair before from brown to red to pink to lavender. This time I choose colour blue green!

Which turned out great! IMO haha! This is also a DIY which I do not recommend, but you know the situation right now.

This is what my hair looks like now. I know it looks super dry, my hair is like that ever since, but don’t worry, I’ve been taking extra care of my hair now whenever I dye it.

Tip: Wash your hair 2-3 times a week so that your hair will have enough time to produce its own natural oils. I apply conditioner on my hair more often that shampoo, as shampoo has properties which is not good to your hair if it’s dyed hair.

Next update, if you guys have been following my site, I wrote a blog about online learning. I also shared there that I’m taking several online courses. Well, I just got my digital certificate and I’m just so happy that I wanted to share it here with you.

This isn’t my first time to receive a digital certificate from an online course but I’m extra proud of this one because it took me 4 weeks to complete the course as I’m also working from home. The course itself wasn’t that complicated in my opinion, but balancing everything made it tough.

I am in front of my computer screen 8 hrs a day because of work so it wasn’t easy for me to study after using a screen again, but my interest on the course itself kept me motivated to continue and finish the course. I’m so proud of me.

Last update..

Few weeks ago, my sister told me that her former coworker is putting her hamster in adoption as she can no longer take care of it because she has too many hamsters already.

My sister knows that I’ve always wanted to have either a hamster or a guinea pig. They’re just too damn adorable for me. I told her I’m very much interested and willing to take care of her coworker’s hamster. Which she told her coworker and agreed that I’ll get her hamster.

I prepared and did a research on how to take care of hamster. I bought a big storage box type cage, food and carvings. I also ordered some toys because I learned that they like to play and really active in general.

I was feeling so excited and nervous because I didn’t know if I will be a good owner to her and I have no experience on taking care of hamsters.

Then she arrived.

Lo-and-behold.. Meet Melon!

bad quality because she keeps on moving! haha!

She is the cutest thing ever. I can’t even express how happy I am to have her. She’s so active, she likes to play and eat, I also found out that hamsters are nocturnal, I get to watch her while she’s sleeping during the day (sounds creepy).

The way she just stuff her mouth with food that is given to her is so adorable. I feel so delighted. Do you have any experience on taking care of hamster? If you do, your advice is very much appreciated.

I know I’ve been posting less than I did before, im taking enough needed time to get myself on track and take care of my mental health. I want every blog I post here to come from my inspirations; I don’t want to force myself to write for the sake of content or to make a presence as that’s not the reason I started this blog.

I hope that you guys enjoyed reading this and Im very much interested to hear any updates from your life. How are you? What’s keeping you busy these past few weeks? How are you feeling right not? I want to know! Feel free to write it on comment section.

‘Til next post. Love lots. 🙂

Hi! This is Carla! If you got this far, thank you! I would love to read your thoughts about my post. Feel free to share this to someone who might need it. Keep yourself updated on anything related to my blog by signing up below.

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My Playlist: Lively Edition

I started a blog series awhile back called Personal Playlist and wrote my first post—Personal Playlist Series: Chill Edition. To share this side of me makes me very happy, and I’m glad that some of you found it helpful. Each of the artist has their own uniqueness with their music, and that makes them so special for me.

For today, I am sharing with you the second entry for this blog series Personal Playlist: Lively Edition; It’s called Lively Edition because whenever I listen to these songs they always make me feel so inspired and so happy to be alive regardless of what genre they belong to. The music that makes me want to dance, be crazy, be stupid and just forget about all the terror that is happening in this world right now. I hope it will do the same for you.

Now playing:

1. BØRNS

Electric Love

10,000 Emerald Pools

Faded Heart

2. Grouplove

Ways To Go

Tongue Tied

Welcome To Your LIfe

3. Nero

Into The Night

Promises

Two Minds

4. Bleachers

I Wanna Get Better

Rollercoaster

Don’t Take The Money

5. The Strokes

You Only Live Once

Under Cover Of Darkness

Reptilia

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Graduation Day

Graduation day.

Sunny afternoon of March 21,2019

It was scorching hot, and it didn’t help that my graduation gown was thick and long.

I was getting ready for my most awaited moment.

The ceremony went on for at least one and a half hour; it was quick, which was nice. I didn’t want to stay too long inside the stadium. The ceremony ended, everyone started saying their last goodbye, most people shed a tear. But me? I grabbed my stuff and walked my way out as fast as I can; I didn’t want to talk or interact with my classmates that time; I didn’t even looked back. I didn’t care.

Why?

When I was in university, I have met no one who I can call friend, and I was fine with that. And no, I’m not an introvert, it’s just that I see university that time as a business place where everything is transactional. You receive if you give, most people only know you if they need you.

Also, I had enough fun during elementary and high school. I didn’t want to waste my time in university hanging out; I was so afraid to skip classes and fail because university is so different. When I was still in grade school and high school, my parents didn’t spend money on tuition fees and other school expenses because I studied in public school, but when I started going to university, everything I see or do has a price tag. So skipping classes and doing “fun” things was a no for me. I thought that time “I am not here to make friends, I am here to graduate.”

I didn’t want my parents to spend money more than they intend to, so I did my best to graduate as soon as possible. University life pumped out my energy. I had no time to connect with anyone from there. No fun whatsoever.

Graduation is a special occasion for some. It’s a day to celebrate the hard work, sleepless night, It’s an achievement that you made it until the end.

But it was kinda different for me.

It’s freedom day. Freedom from the stress, anxiety, debt because of tuition fee. The moment I got a hold of my diploma was also the moment where I felt like there’s a heavyweight lifted from my shoulder. I am now free.

While writing this, I realised that graduation venues are like a transition place. You are a student before you go inside, but once you go out you are now an adult.

Adult. Sigh.

It’s been awhile since I graduated and I can’t believe how everything in my life changed.

It is only now that im starting to feel the reality; I am not a student anymore. I now have responsibilities as an adult. Sometimes I enjoy the challenges, but sometimes I just want to runaway from everything.

University life was hard, but back then I have a routine. I have a school deadline I follow. I have projects I need to finish. There’s a direction. But maybe I’ll do it differently. I will try to have fun and make lots of wonderful memories.

I can’t take the time back. So, I just try to have fun and enjoy life. I think that is also what I want to say here — we should just all try to enjoy each stage of our life and just make the most out of it.

Life will always be tough, school is not an exemption. It will drain your energy but always remember to breathe in and breathe out. Enjoy every moment and make wonderful memories because once life makes you it’s target, you need those wonderful memories to keep you sane.

Hm… I’ll end this here now, it’s raining outside and I need a cup of tea.

Hi! This is Carla! If you got this far, thank you! I would love to read your thoughts about my post. Feel free to share this to someone who might need it. Keep yourself updated on anything related to my blog by signing up below.

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